Something happened at the very start of my journey as an online entrepreneur, that I’ve never really talked about publicly. 

Back then, online entrepreneurship felt magical to me (it still does, actually!). It was breathtakingly exciting to suddenly inhabit a world where there were literally no borders.

Everywhere I turned, I saw bold, adventurous, generous-hearted business owners around the world pouring their expertise into digital courses… and I couldn’t WAIT to be one of them! 

I had my heart set on offering my very first digital course and manifesting a beautiful, creative, abundant life as an online entrepreneur. I couldn’t stop envisioning it 😍

A coach I knew had heard me talk about it so many times that one day she simply said,”Let’s just partner up and create a course together.” She was 100% certain I was ready.

So we partnered up, launched that course… and it was wildly successful. My partner was lit up, already mapping out our next course. I wanted to feel what she was feeling but I just… didn’t.

What I didn’t let myself see for a long time was how much of that course launch I’d carried alone – from the initial ideas all the way through to the execution – with most of the energy coming from me. 

By the end of it, I was completely wrung out and my connection with that coach frayed and eventually snapped.

What I didn’t expect was that I wouldn’t launch another course again for close to half a decade! 😬

This was, of course, more than a little strange when you think about it. After all, the course was a success with glowing reviews, and enthusiastic testimonials from happy students.

I didn’t realize it at the time but my whole experience of that launch had left a mark I hadn’t accounted for and my desire to ever do it again had paid the price.

All of that stress, anxiety and worry felt like it was now part of me and it wasn’t a feeling I wanted to repeat.

Looking back, that coach wasn’t wrong about my desire. I DID want to offer a course. What she’d missed, and what I hadn’t figured out yet, was that dreaming about something and being ready for it are 2 very different things.

The thing about manifesting a heartfelt desire is that it doesn’t always arrive at the perfect time. Sometimes we talk about what we want to manifest as a way of getting to know our desires by turning them over, feeling their weight, and figuring out what’s really required of us.

When someone hands us what we want on a silver platter, it can feel like a cosmic green light and sometimes it is. 

Sometimes, though (and this is what I wish I’d known back then) the deeper readiness check goes beyond “do I want this?” The real question is whether you feel aligned stepping into this, in this way, with this person, at this time.

I couldn’t have answered any of that clearly because I was too new to all of it, and too excited by someone seeing enough in me to want to partner up. A coach, a friend, a family member, acting on your potential faster than you do can feel like validation AND it can also pull you straight into someone else’s timeline for your dream.

Years later, I finally launched a course that was entirely mine — built exactly the way I’d always imagined building it, on a timeline that belonged to no one but me.

It felt completely different because it was. I wasn’t on someone else’s timeline. I was wholly and completely on my own.

If you’re sitting with a desire right now that someone else seems more excited about than you do… that’s worth paying attention to. Their belief in you is real, and it’s also not the same as your internal yes. Both can exist at the same time but only one of them is yours 💜

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